Billana Baggins and the Adventure of a Lifetime
by Children-of-the-Blood
Summary: Billana Baggins was a respectable hobbit, thank you very much! She enjoyed the simple things in life that all hobbits do. She didn't want any adventures! But when Gandalf the Gray comes meddling in your life, you will never be able to escape unscathed. So Billa finds herself travelling in the company of the most brutish, vulgar and wonderful people she has ever met. Fem. Bilbo
1. Chapter 1

**Dear Readers,**

**If you care to read these at all, I'd just like to say thanks for giving this story a chance! I must warn you however, that I am not a very good writer. At all. Every now and then I get a plot bunny that I just have to write down as it won't leave me a lone and writing relaxes me.**

**As I said, that doesn't make me a good writer. I'm in fact quite poor at it. Trying to get a good flow, good characterization, not going too over dramatic, etc. etc.**

**So that's just a warning! I'd appreciate any constructive criticism though!**

**Thanks! Enjoy :P**

**Warning: Disclaimer, I do not own anything in this story. My story shall differ from the book and movies of The Hobbit, but I do not own any of the lore, characters, setting, etc.  
>Furthermore, I shall use some direct and some indirect quotes from the books and movies. To anyone who knows either well enough this will probably be evident as to where.<br>Story rating may change from T to M as it progresses. We'll see.**

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><p>It has been remarked by some, according to the Tooks Billa knew, that hobbits only have one real love in life; food.<p>

A rather unfair observation, Billa thought, as we hobbits have also developed a keen interest in the brewing of ales and smoking of pipe weeds.

However, to any that truly know hobbits, they know that our hearts truly lie in peace and quiet and good tilled earth. For all hobbits share a love for things that grow.

For Billa herself, there were two things she loved most in the world; warm summer days to stretch out under the sun in her garden and just bask in the sun's glow; and rainy summer days where she could escape to the shuttered gazebo in the centre of her garden, sheltered from the wind and rain and read a book under candlelight as she could hear her garden being nourished. It would be so happy and she would be almost euphoric in her peace.

It was a day very much like the former described, in its nature, where one found miss Billana curled up in the speckled shade of one of her trees, where she found herself being disturbed by an over-sized shadow. The small hobbit frowned, at first believing the shadow to be another cow having broken into her garden.

When that had happened, Billa had been distraught. She'd been roused by the distress of her garden, to find one of the females of a herd passing through, had managed to find a way into her garden and was trampling and eating her plants! Thankfully, the Gamgees heard her cry out and helped her right her garden and remove the cow, giving it back to the herder whom was fraught with misery at the actions of his charge.

Thankfully, this shadow didn't belong to any cow, as her garden was only somewhat put off by the extra weight belonging to a heavier foot of the stranger blocking her shade. Opening her eyes, Billa identified that this was, in fact, a Man! She quickly stood to right her hair and clothes, but was very confused. Who was he? Did he not believe it to be quite rude to sneak upon a hobbit – a single one at that! – enjoying their garden and not announce themselves?

"Good morning!" She squeaked, pulling leaves from her hair.

"What do you mean?" The stranger demanded. Billa squeaked again at his abrupt tone. "Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that this is a good morning whether I want it to be or not? Or, perhaps, you wish to say you feel good on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on? Hmm?"

Billa quirked an eyebrow at the questions. She had never really thought about the greeting in that way. "Quite honestly, all of them at once. How do you do?" She asked, ducking her head.

Evidently, however, this was not the correct thing to do, as the easygoing expression upon the man's face was wiped off as he critically assessed her. It was as if he was searching her and finding something wanting. Billana wasn't sure what to do, as she was unused to such reactions upon meeting people. She prided herself on her good manners and amiable disposition, so this reaction of disapproval from a stranger made her feel extremely uncomfortable and self-conscious.

"Can I help you?" She tried again, shifting slightly from foot to foot.

"That remains to be seen!" The man huffed. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if figuring out how to best phrase what he was next going to say. Then again, Billa amended to herself; it may be just because he was obviously quite elderly. The tall man had wrinkles a-plenty and a walking stick besides. In fact, there was something quite familiar about this man with his grey cloak and hat… something that niggled at her brain. "I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure."

Billa's mouth dropped slight, only what was proper, mind, upon hearing this. An adventure? "An adventure? Well… unfortunately, I can't imagine anyone west of Bree would be able to oblige you, Mr.…"

"Well, you know my name, although you don't remember that I belong to it. I am Gandalf! And Gandalf means… me."

That's where Billa had been reminded of! When she was but a young fauntling,

Gandalf would often visit Old Took! "Goodness gracious me! You are the wondering wizard, aren't you? You made such particularly excellent fireworks! Old Took would have them on Midsummer's Eve. Oh! So splendid! They used to go up like great lilies and snapdragons and laburnums of fire and hang in the twilight all evening! Oh! You also gave Old Took a pair of magical diamond studs that fastened themselves to whatever you pleased and would never come undone until ordered! My! I remember you would tell _such_ wonderful tales at parties, about dragons and goblins and giants and the rescue of princesses and the unexpected luck of widows' sons.

"From such fantastic tales you would whisk away many quiet lads and lasses, encouraging them to go off into the Blue for mad adventures! Anywhere from climbing trees, to visiting Elves – sailing in ships, sailing to other shores, searching for fairies! Bless me, life used to be quite inter –"

Billa paused to catch her breath from her nostalgia, missing the chuckles of the wizard as he listened to her exuberant gushing, when she realized what the wondering wizard must be here for. "But oh! Dear me! Mr. Gandalf, no! I shall not!"

"Shall not, my dear?" He watched with amusement as the young lady began to scamper around the paths of her garden, he following her more sedately.

"Don't play the fool with me, Gandalf Greybeard!" She turned on him very suddenly, wagging her finger at him sternly. "I thank you for the offer, but I shall not be joining you on any adventures! I'm very sorry!"

Gandalf laughed again. "Never let it be said that Bagginses are slow to wit! Your parents raised you well. And why ever not? An adventure would be good for you."

Billa squeaked and continued to scamper around the foliage towards her lovely smial. "Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things! Make you late for tea!"

"It is decided then!" Gandalf announced as the pair finally reached the entrance of Billa's garden. "I will go so far as to send you on this adventure. Very amusing for me, very good for you and profitable too, very likely, if you ever get over it."

"Gandlaf! I'm sorry! I don't want any adventures, thank you. Not today. Now have a good morning! But please come to tea - any time you like! Why not tomorrow? Come tomorrow! Goodbye!" Billana scuttled outside the garden gate and strode towards her home, in what could be considered a hasty but still polite retreat. Not only did her upbringing prevent her from behaving as such, but also one must always tread carefully around wizards. Wizards after all are wizards.

Then Billana had to stop herself from banging her head upon her door as she realized what she had just said to Gandalf. "What on earth did I ask him to tea for? Bother!"

Billana was sure that wizards could be very persuasive when they wanted to be and she very much wanted to avoid any adventures, if she could help it, thank you very much!

So caught up in her own musings and fussy habits, darting about the smial in order to clean up and consider what to do if Gandalf did, indeed, turn up for tea, that she missed the noise outside her door. Had she been listening, she would have heard Gandalf laughing to himself before taking the small step up to the door. There he used the end of his staff, where a nail pointed out, to scratch a rune into the beautiful, fresh green paint of the hobbit's door. It glowed briefly until it dimmed to become quite inconspicuous. Then, to anyone who may have been watching (which they weren't), the grey wizard seemed to vanish into thin air.

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><p><strong>So this is just a really short chapter to start off with. I have more written and most of the plot line thought out, at least.<strong>

**My take on , Billa, is that essentially she'd be strong in much the same way Bilbo is, confident, educated and still retain that sense of adventure as a child but have it expressed in her reading and education, etc. She'd also be a bit lady like, as Bilbo attempts to be gentlemanly in the beginning of the Hobbit.**

**This story is Billa/Thorin.**

**I'd really like to hear what anyone thinks and if they can offer any constructive criticism and/or tips? Even just on spelling and grammar mistakes. Another question I have for anyone who cares, is in regards to the quotes I have used from the books and movies, are you meant to make special note of that during the chapters? Just because I find it annoying when I read it in other stories, but do you have to?**

**Also, if anyone has any plotline advice, ideas or requests, let me know and I'll take them under advisement! **** Thanks again!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I didn't plan to have taken so long to upload this, so my apologies for that. Basically, I'll try to keep these chapter intros very short if I use them at all.**

**Please enjoy, I'd love feedback and thanks for reading!**

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><p>Something one should always be aware about hobbits, is that they have very different ideas as to the important things in life, compared to other races.<p>

Where other races may consider warriors and rulers to be of the highest authority, held in the highest regard, hobbits will look upon peacemakers, good cooks and the friendliest of hobbits in the same regard. Other races look upon clothes, jewelry and riches with great esteem and pleasure, using them as symbols for their wealth and power. Hobbits prefer sentimental gifts and their wealth and 'power' is measured by the amount of visitors they get, the size of their families and the recommendations people give for their tea or biscuits.

To outsiders, the Thain would probably be the most influential hobbit in Hobbiton, however hobbits consider him just as answerable as the next hobbit for any disturbances and wouldn't hesitate to have them removed from their position if they thought that they were misusing it. There were few things hobbits hated more than corruption, you see. It had happened rarely from time to time; all of three hobbits in the last four hundred years that had succumbed to corruption within their families. Always after coming back from adventures, though.

One Lindsey Took had returned from an adventure to Gondor, only to begin hording his family's treasures for himself, hiding it away and refusing to share their memory value with anyone!

No, hobbits hear stories from the occasional adventurous hobbit, or even rarer travelling big folk passing through, as to what other races treasure above all else. It frankly makes them sick. If a neighbor needs a hand, you provide it, no questions asked. Hobbits didn't have locks on their doors, as they never needed them! To think! A thief! The only things hobbits have been known to steal is fruits and vegetables from farmyards and even that is _highly_ frowned upon!

For you see, in this peaceful land, there was no need for warriors. There was no need for rulers. Every hobbit was kind and considerate – even to big folk once they got used to them. They take great pride in welcoming visitors and guests into their home, being a good host, and the highest compliments you can award a hobbit is upon the warmth of their home, taste of their food and drink and lusciousness of their gardens. For that's all hobbits believed they needed in life to be happy. And for most of them, this was true.

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><p>There were few hobbits that were considered as respectable as Billana Baggins was. A fair lady, known far and wide amongst her kin, for having one of the most beautiful gardens of any hobbit! Her meals were flavoursome and rich, but what she could do with caramel was practically infamous!<p>

She had her odd habits, this was true, and was considered more reclusive than most hobbits were, but she was kind and gentle. And she _never_ did anything unexpected. She was a respectable hobbit, indeed.

In fact, Billa was sure, now, that she had escaped the adventure nonsense of Gandalf's when he didn't come for afternoon tea. She was quite relieved, to say the least. It wouldn't do for people to think her the adventuring sort! However she was a more than mite bit annoyed and insulted that the wizard hadn't turned up or even sent her a note of explanation! Also, if she was being honest with herself (which she wasn't), she was just the smallest bit disappointed by the sudden demise of her life's near adventure.

It can't be said that Belladonna Baggins nee Took, never instilled _some_ spark of adventure in her only child.

As she waited for her fish to finish frying, Billa put away the cakes, biscuits and scones she had made in preparation for tea. After all, who knew what the wizard would like to eat? She would have to visit her cousins tomorrow, instead, to get rid of them before they spoilt.

After serving herself the fish and vegetables, Billana sat down happily. The discourse was over and she was once more content.

Or rather, she was, until the doorbell rang.

Glancing downwards, Billa raced to find and tie up her evening robe as she realized that a partially sheer, knee-length nightgown was hardly appropriate for greeting visitors in.

Billa could quite honestly say that it was the third biggest surprise of her life to open her door and find a dwarf standing there. Much to her shame as a host and a lady, Billa was certain she stood and gaped for a moment at the sight of the tall (even by Dwarf standards) fellow, with his scars, bald and tattooed head, beard and stern gaze. Not to mention his build that appeared carved from stone, warn clothes and numerous, painful looking weapons.

"Dwalin, at your service." The dwarf growled pleasantly enough, considering his fierce demeanor. He bowed as well, quite a un-hobbit like action. That stark difference in custom was what shook Billa out of her stupor, as she recalled that women in some other races curtsied in response to a man's bow.

"Billana Baggins, at yours." She said, ducking her head. When she looked back at the dwarf, Dwalin, before her, he appeared to be studying her, much like Gandalf had been doing the day before. One of his brows was cocked in obvious confusion and perhaps disappointment as well. Before the small hobbit could say anything, Mr. Dwalin barged through her door and into her home.

"Excuse me, however do we know each other?" She asked, affronted by the liberties this dwarf was taking! Barging into someone's home uninvited! He scoffed at her and spat 'no' as a reply. The hobbit was now extremely confused and quite intimidated, stepping to the side to allow Dwalin to pass. "Well, is there something I can help you with?"

Dwalin turned to the look at the lass, quizzical brow cocked high once more. "Aye lass, I haven't eaten a proper meal in weeks! And I doubt the others have had, either. We were told we could find good food here before we head off and plenty of it."

Billa gaped at him as she stood dumbfounded and watched as he followed his nose to her dining room.

Others? There were more coming? Who said they could find food in her smial?

"Mr. Dwalin!" She quickly called. He poked his head through the doorway into the hall, before entering it entirely. The way he gripped the frame, though, clearly showed how much he wanted to go back for food. Billa sympathized, only imagining how hungry he must be. He stared at her, evidently waiting for her to explain why she had called him back.

"Would you pos-possibly mind, if it doesn't inconvenience you, to please place your coat, weapons and," here she paused with a quick flick of her eyes to his muddy shoes, "boots in the coat room?" She requested, indicating to the room to the right of the front doorway.

He laughed heartily at this. "Oh lass, coats and weapons are fine," minus a few daggers, he amended to himself, "but trust me when I say you don't want me or the other lads to take off our boots! This place will never smell the same again!"

Dwalin had to chuckle at the lass's slightly green face as she rushed past him into what he assumed was the kitchen, based on the sounds of pots and pans banging as they are moved around.

The dwarf had to admit he was confused by the little creature. She had appeared shocked, if not a bit frightened by the sight of him at her door. Gandalf had told the company that he would be seeing their hobbit burglar before the rest of the company arrived to warn her, but she looked as if she hadn't been expecting a visitor, let alone a dwarf to appear at her door. With that in mind, he expected her to turn him away, but she hadn't, so Dwalin took that as an invitation to continue. He couldn't pretend to understand the minds of gentlefolk, especially those of Halflings, as he'd never met one before. Perhaps she had gotten the dates wrong?

The smell of food only grew stronger as he hung up his green coat and rested his pack and weapons on the floor of the entrance cupboard, leaving his mouth salivating. He hadn't been lying to the lass when he told her he hadn't had a proper meal in weeks.

"Lass?" The dwarf called.

"Down here, Mr. Dwalin!" He followed her voice to the kitchen where she was busy chopping up vegetables for what looked like a stew already beginning to boil on the stove. He noticed quite quickly that she had moved the dinner plate he'd seen earlier to a small table in the corner of the kitchen, the scent of the meal drawing him in, even as she began to speak.

"Now, I must apoligise, but I wasn't expecting company tonight – Not that you aren't welcome! Please make yourself confortable – it's just that it means that I'm afraid I'm not properly prepared.

"So please help yourself to my dinner, while I make some more." Dwalin had to stop himself from physically reeling back and shouting at the hobbit. Did she have no sense of danger? Did she not know stories of what men and even the rare dwarf did to lasses? How the would take advantage of women in the streets, or anywhere remotely shielded from the eyes of others? What was wrong with the hobbit? She hadn't been expecting him or any other dwarf to appear, seemingly ever, in her home, yet she welcomed him with nearly open arms!

Dwalin was filled with revulsion at thought of a woman having to fear him, but he'd rather she did than risk being defiled and broken!

"You also mentioned, sir, that there will be more folk coming? How many, do you know? Will they all be dwarves?"

"Aye lass, another 12 dwarrows and a man. A wizard. One by the name of Gandalf." Billa paused and sighed, her eyes closing as she became resigned to the direction here evening was taking.

"So this is Gandalf's doing." Whatever had the lass contemplating so seriously seemed to be settled quickly, as she continued talking to Dwalin quite amiably. "What is it dwarves prefer to eat, Mr. Dwalin?"

"It's just Dwalin, lass, and we prefer to be called dwarrows." Dwalin corrected, not unkindly. "We also prefer hearty foods. Meats mostly."

Dwalin nearly jumped when the hobbit squeaked and immediately the hobbit's flurry of actions sped up as she began searching her pantry for different kinds of meat, bringing out chicken and sausages, the last of her fish and surprising Dwalin by placing a big ham on the kitchen table, forcing him to pick up the hobbit's original dinner. He began to pick at the food as he watched the hobbit run around. He felt like a wee lad again, watching as his parents fought against each other, but now he watched her, crunching on the rest of his fish, as she seemed to fight the kitchen to work faster, harder and be cleaner. She heated the oven, lit the fireplace and began frying the sausages on the stove. She ran back and forth between the pantry and the kitchen as she prepared many kinds of meals, all hearty and rich foods, using bread, meet and cheese as their bases.

It was amongst this mad dash that both of the kitchen's occupants heard the doorbell ring again. They looked to each other, Billa's eyes wide in panic.

"That'll be the door." Dwalin supplied, thinking the lass may be confused by the sound breaking through her cooking daze. He moved to stand to answer it for her, seeing how busy she was, but had to press to the wall instead as she all but sprinted past him to answer her next guest.

Behind the door was a far older looking dwarf, his white hair perfectly groomed and flowing freely. He also appeared a lot cleaner than the other dwarf currently in her smial, his red and black embroidered robes appearing impeccable.

Billa decided that she was quite tired of receiving disapproving and disappointed looks from strangers entrenching upon her hospitality. To his credit though, this dwarf quickly covered it up by smiling and bowing, offering what Billa thought of as a warm greeting. "Balin! At your service."

"Billana Baggins, at yours. Good evening." She returned, clumsily curtsying again as she invited him in. Balin easily accepted, hefting up the heavy looking pack he'd leant against the wall of the house. Dwalin stood a short ways down the hallway watching, not being able to resist opening a few of the cupboards looking for more food, but stopped when he saw the new dwarf.

Billa noticed that she seemed to fade into the background as the two dwarves saw each other, beginning to chuckle warmly to one another. Well, the hobbit thought, at least the dwarves knew each other and she wouldn't have to keep them entertained while she continued with dinner. She even grinned as they greeted each other and she found out that the two were brothers. It sounded like neither of them had seen the other in a while as well. A family reunion then!

"Excuse me, Mr. Balin, but can I get you anything before dinner is ready?"

Balin's smile was warm and kind, Billa decided. "In fact, you wouldn't happen to have any little cakes, by any chance? Especially some seed cakes? Some ale would also be much appreciated."

"Oh yes! I have plenty of seed cakes, actually! They are in a jar above the fireplace in the drawing room! But first, would you mind hanging your belongings in the front cupboard?" Billa asked, leading Dwalin into the cozy room and passing him the jar of seed cakes. "If you finish or tire of the cakes, there are also biscuits and scones in the other jars."

It only took Balin a moment to remove his cloak and set his pack, so the dwarf watched bemusedly as the hobbit lass retreated down the hall and into what sounded (and smelt) like the kitchen. Besides Balin, Dwalin chuckled.

"Well, _Mr._ Balin, it seems our hobbit wasn't expecting our arrival tonight. She is busy cooking up a feast for the rest of the lads."

"Our wizard friend mustn't have been very informative, then." Balin said, before pausing. "She's a wee thing, isn't she."

"Aye. Wee, dainty and a bonnie thing too. Despite her lack of beard." Balin had to agree. The hobbit was small and well curved, her cheeks flushed healthily and her hair not pulled into a braid on top of her head flew in wild curls about her. Between her fair glowing skin and caramel hair, the Balin, Dwalin and the other lads would have to keep their wits about them to make sure the younger lads behaved themselves. "Do you think she's up to the job, though?" Balin continued.

"I'm not sure, lad. This is a very cozy home she has and from what I've heard from Ori, hobbits aren't known for their adventurous nature. But the wizard was adamant and I will wait for him to arrive before we question it too much further. Though I can't help but have my doubts. At least the company will have a good meal and warm beds to sleep in before we head out tomorrow."

A strangled cry had both dwarves pause before rushing into the kitchen, Dwalin already reaching for his knives, to find Billa staring at a jar as if it were causing her immense pain.

"Miss Baggins?" Balin approached carefully. Billa's face flushed immediately and she looked mortified.

"I'm fine, Messer's Balin and Dwalin! My apologies! I just found I need to pop next door for a moment. I shall return momentarily, please enjoy yourselves!" With that, the little hobbit ran from the room, eyes glistening just a bit, through the hallway and out her front door.

Billa couldn't have been happier to see the light in the window of her neighbours, as she hurried (not running!) to their sunflower yellow door. If there were any hobbits she trusted with a matter such as this, it was the delightful Gamgees.

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><p>To say that the evening that Billana Baggins had been experiencing at Bag End was contrasted starkly against the one at the Gamgees's, would be an understatement. Where Billa's had become wild and unpredictable, the Gamgees could have nearly predicted everything that had happened down to the minute. At 6 minutes before sunset, Hamfast Gamgee returned to his smial at Number Three, Bagshot Row with his son Hamson, sent by his mama to get his da. Nine minutes after returning home, he had his tools away and hands washed in time to sit down with his youngest children while the eldest two helped their ma with dinner. Sometimes ten, but closer to twelve minutes later, dinner would be served and the family would enjoy the vegetables that Hamfast brought in from the fields, fresh that day.<p>

After dinner, Hamfast and his eldest two would then clear the table and wash up while ma looked after the three wee ones. Twenty minutes later, after everything was sparkling, they would all then retire to the living room where they would have supper, talk, laugh and sometimes sing until bedtime.

That was why the Gamgees parents were shocked to hear someone knock upon their door at such a late hour! It was too late for dinner and supper! So Hamfast distracted the fauntlings while Bell answered the door.

"Ms. Billa!" Bell Gamgee gasped when she saw who was on the other side. "My dear, you look positively disheveled!"

She did at that! Bell's normally lovely hair was getting horribly knotted and it was escaping her braid in such a wild manner! Her evening robe was coming loose, with one side falling off her shoulder somewhat and the dear was nearly in tears!

"I'm so sorry, Bell! But do you have any honey and cream?" Billa begged. Bell hushed her and quickly ushered her inside. Hamfast, seeing the upset state of Ms. Billa began to scoop up the fauntlings and herd them all towards bed.

"Hush, Billa, what has happened?" She said, leading her to the couch, ignoring Billa's protests of not wanting too impose and not being able to stay long. Hamfast returned promptly with a cup of cool tomato juice, having successfully put the fauntlings to bed, leaving Hamson and May to look after the smaller ones unless something major happened.

"Oh! That Gandalf! He has invited thirteen dwarves to my home without a moments notice," Bell gasped and exchanged wide-eyed glances with her husband, "expecting me to provide hospitality for all of them! I don't know when they'll be arriving and I'm just trying to cook enough food! Never mind the beds or baths!"

Billa sobbed dryly, refusing to let any tears fall, even as her nose was beginning to run something awful.

"We're coming over." Hamfast declared, helping his wife to her feet, as she was currently 3 months pregnant and he was already worrying over her. He was horrified to think that Gandalf could do such a thing to a hobbit! Didn't he used to be on friendly terms with Old Took? Did he not understand what he'd done?

"Oh no, please! You have fauntlings to look after! I am just need honey for my glazed ham!"

"Billa Baggins, I apologize for our intrusion, but sometimes you just need some help and in cases like these, there is no shame in that!" Hamfast scolded her, a hand placed comfortingly on one of her shoulders. Billa may have been older than both of the Gamgees, but after the death of her parents, they were the ones who would look after her and treat her like a younger sibling, rather than the other way round.

As Billa's cheeks darkened, Bell understood how conflicted Billa must have been feeling. To have to ask for another's help was often seen as lazy and rude, but was especially upsetting for the host as it showed that they could not properly care for their guests. This Gandalf had asked the impossible, however! Oh, to put Ms. Baggins through such turmoil and embarrassment!

Bell quickly brought Billa to the kitchen and pantry and told Billa to take what she needed. She also took out some leeks and her some of her husband's famous potatoes, preparing to make a soup. The two hobbit women collected ingredients (Billa far more sparingly) and placed them inside two baskets to carry over to Billa's smial.

Meanwhile Hamfast collected his cloak and an appropriate robe and shaul for his wife, whilst telling Hamson and May where they were going incase something happened. Then the trio promptly hurried back to Bag End – at a polite speed mind.

At the top step, Billa noticed a glowing blue set of lines, a rune, she corrected herself, scratched into her lovely emerald door.

"I painted this a week ago."

Hamfast frowned, knowing how pleased Billa had been about her door. Then the wizard scratches this magic symbol into it! Without Billa's permission either! He should pay for a good sanding and painting, Hamfast thought.

Sighing, Billa forced herself just to move on and forget it about it for the time being. There was too much else to worry about. Opening the door, Billa froze in place, again, as she came face to face with two unknown dwarves! Her cheeks flushed again in shame, knowing she hadn't been here to greet the two dwarves.

"Oh my." Bell gasped, cheeks heating at the sight of the two young dwarves in Ms. Billa's entranceway. She heard and believed Billa, but seeing dwarves in the Shire for yourself was a whole other thing!

Billa stepped forwards and shocked Hamfast and Bell when she curtsied!

"I'm Billana Baggins, at your service. What can I do for you, my dwarves?" Immediately, the pair's faces lit up as they bowed very deeply.

"Fili!" The yellow haired dwarf said.

"And Kili!" The other with less facial hair said.

"At your service!" The finished together. There was very little doubt in Billa's mind that these two were brothers.

"You must be Mrs. Boggins!" Kili said with a grin. Billa sighed, feeling already too used to the lack of manners of the dwarves. Bell and Hamfast, on the other hand, were shocked by the pair. They had entered the smial without being invited in by the host first! Then they got her name wrong! Especially mistaking her name even after she said it, of all things.

"That's Miss Baggins, sir!" Hamfast corrected in a manner that could be considered almost rude. In other words, the slightly clipped nature of his tone went completely unnoticed by the dwarves.

"Hamfast and Bell Gamgee." Hamfast greeted, bowing his head slightly in proper hobbit greeting. His wife managed the same, but could hardly speak due to her astonishment at the behavior of the dwarves. She also didn't miss the movement of their eyes as they took in Billa's borderline indecent appearance! Poor thing had no time to prepare.

"Shall we all go further in?" Billa suggested, moving forwards. The brothers grinned and nodded, pleased as they unabashedly sauntered through the hallway of Bag End.

Bell immediately rushed Billa to her room to get changed into a more decent attire, promising to place the ingredients she had brought into the kitchen and watch over the food she'd left simmering.

Leaving her too it, Bella then entered the hallway to find the younger brother, Kili, scraping the bottoms of his boots on Bungo's hand carved archways and made a cry of horror. Kili looked up at the sound and grinned.

"It's a nice place this."

Dwalin, seeing the rage and horror brewing within the hobbit lass, came to quickly rescue Kili. "Come, lad. You can leave your stuff in the cupboard down here. Fili!"

Bell quickly wiped the mud and goodness knows what else from the wood, but didn't have time to properly clean it as she raced into the kitchen to give Billa a hand with the food.

Balin watched from a cozy chair by the fire as not one, but three hobbits returned to the little home.

Balin watched the tense exchange between the oblivious Fili and Kili and said three hobbits, before each went their separate ways. The older dwarf wasn't sure exactly what had upset the hobbits, but the young lads were brash and abrasive at the best of times. It wasn't hard to imagine them upsetting someone accidentally.

The hobbit man came through the drawing room, moving more chairs into it.

"Excuse me, master hobbit, but may I be of assistance?" The hobbit looked scandalized at Balin's suggestion, so the dwarf quickly continued on. "I meant no offence! It just appears to be a rather large task."

"Don't mean any-" The hobbit huffed with a frown. "No, no! It's quite alright. We'll handle it. Please relax; it wouldn't do for weary travellers and guests to be expected to help. I thank you for your offer though." The hobbit sounded only half sincere. "My name is Hamfast Gamgee. You probably saw my wife Bell on her way to the kitchen, before."

"Balin, daughter of Fundin." The dwarf smiled and chuckled to herself as the hobbit's eyes widened as he took in her appearance once more.

"Daughter of-" The hobbit blushed, the flush covering his face and extending down his neck as he looked to the floor. "Please forgive me. I… I do not know much about dwarves. You are the first dwarves who have travelled into a hobbit village in many generations. I meant no disrespect."

Balin stood and walked over to the hobbit, clasping him on the shoulder. "None taken, laddie. We dwarrow understand that the women in other races do not grow beards. My cloak and my warrior frame doesn't help, either. No harm done and I am not offended.

"Now could you please explain something to me about hobbits? I have never met any hobbit folk before and in many ways, hobbits are more secretive than dwarves! Finding information proved a challenge for our scholar." When Hamfast nodded hesitantly, Balin grinned. "Thank you. Now Miss Baggins seems very much overwhelmed, yet she doesn't ask for assistance, even though this meeting was sprung upon her quite suddenly. You also seemed quite offended when I offered my own assistance."

Hamfast sighed as he took a seat near Balin's own. "You must understand that hobbits hold hosting in the highest regard, here. We have no need for great warriors or kings, just a warm home and warmer friends. Under normal circumstances, many would see it as shameful already that Miss Baggins has had to ask for assistance to look after her guests. For a _guest_ to assist the host… now that would be truly shameful. You are here to be looked after and welcome. To do otherwise would be saying that you don't believe Miss Baggins fit for looking after you. It is amongst the highest level of disrespect one can give a hobbit!"

Balin nodded, staring thoughtfully at the hobbit. "When we offer our assistance, it is in a sense of camaraderie and respect. We thank Miss Baggins for her hospitality by easing her burden. It is also means we consider her an equal, in that we do not lord above her as she serves us. That is all I meant when offering to help."

Hamfast stared at the dwarf in bafflement. "You dwarves are strange."

Balin began to laugh heartily, throwing her head back and attracting the attention of Dwalin and the other two lads who had been sitting in the dining room together. Fili stood and walked over to where Hamfast and Balin sat.

"Balin, where are we all to eat? The table is nowhere near big enough for us all."

Hamfast paled and looked into the dining room. "Oh dear." He began to look around before considering the table out the back of the smial, used to host on warm summer days.

"Master Gamgee, I understand you may find it insulting, but I implore you to consider this from the perspective of my self. I'd wager that another table will have to be placed along with the first and it will be quite heavy. Let us help you there."

* * *

><p>After finally detangling her hair enough to be considered appropriate and pinning some of it back, Billa left her room to find the four dwarrow gentlemen sitting and smoking in her drawing room. They were talking lowly together, obviously trying to keep their conversation private.<p>

Hamfast stood in the dining room, where he was moving chairs around both her dining table and her garden table, which had been moved in doors.

"Hamfast?" She drew his attention to her. "How did you manage to carry in the table?"

"Please, Miss Baggins, not at the moment. I believe Bell could use a hand and well… you know how I am in the kitchen."

Billa ignored the sheepish grin he offered her as she rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. Hamfast had proven to be a force of destruction in the kitchen, as he somehow had manage to burn down nearly half of Bell's kitchen and even melted part of two saucepans while washing up! All hobbits understood from then on (the end of a whole line of kitchen incidences), that Hamfast Gamgee should not be allowed to enter a kitchen unless there was no other choice (he had become quite good at putting out fires).

Hamfast laughed at Billa's expression, leaving to help set up the guest rooms.

When the doorbell next rang, Balin watched as Fili and Kili turned from facing the dining room where food was beginning to be laid out, practically drooling, to face the door, big grins spreading on their faces. Balin, Fili and Kili walked over to the door in time to see Billa open it. Meanwhile Dwalin wrestled his hand and vanilla and caramel biscuits from one of the jars above the mantle.

What Billa and the dwarves were expecting was the arrival of more of the company. What they weren't expecting, was for the rest of the company to arrive at once and on a pile on the floor.

The groans and commotion was so loud that Bell and Hamfast stopped what they were doing to watch.

Above it all, though, a deep chuckle rumbled from outside the doorway. Looking out into the garden, Billa huffed.

"Gandalf."

* * *

><p><strong>Ta da! Thanks very much for reading!<strong>

**At the beginning of the chapter I said that I'd try to keep the messages short, but at the end of chapters I may add a little more just in case anyone is actually ever interested in hearing me ramble a little.**

**As I mentioned before, I am not a very good writer, but I have ideas I'd like to at least get out there. I'd love some feedback and tips if anyone wants to give them!**

**So I was originally in an airport on my way back home so I was running a teensie bit late so I didn't have time to properly write a message like I would have liked. So I'll do it now instead. So **this is not a chapter update! This is just an author's note update.** My ****apologies to anyone who is annoyed by this.**

**First of all, thank you all so incredibly much for your support! All the reviews, favourites and people who are following my stories or myself! In total I have received nearly a hundred notifications for all my stories!**

**Thank you to:  
><strong>- Neitiri Vi Britannia  
>- wafflebunny084<br>- SakuraDragomir  
>- Borys68 (<strong>you, sir, have been brilliant<strong>)  
>- 666mewmew<br>- LadyBlackroseMusketeer (**I really appreciated the review, thank you!**)  
>- Marina Oakenshield (<strong>thank you so much for the review!<strong>)  
>- kenjina<br>- Goalphabeticalorder  
>- viovio<br>- LadyLucy1990  
>- Pegasi1<br>- TARDISon221BakerSt  
>- xxbrowneyedxx<br>- SamiTheWerewolf  
>- GlassGazer<p>

**Now just to bore you all, a little bit about the direction of the story I'm taking. I like the books. I like the movies (most parts of it - some parts really tick me off). I want to write something that isn't seen as often on this site. Some of the dwarves are going to be different. Some of them are going to be more like their book selves and others more like the movie interpretations and some a mix of both.  
><strong>

**So please don't get your hopes up for another story that ****purely follows the movie-verse dwarves. Also, please don't get upset or offended by the way I've changed some of the characters a bit.**

**Even Balin as the _daughter_ of Fundin. As anyone who knows me or has read just the small parts of my three new stories knows, I am a big fan of backstories. I plan on adding more dimension to a lot of the characters - even if not by too much, though. With Balin, largely changing his character came from a desire of not having one massive (now minus Billa) sausage fest. It was something I thought of for a while and thought about how each character would be. In accordance to the lore and the personalities of dwarves, Balin essentially 'fit' best for me. So I hope you like/don't mind it.**

**Have fun reading and I hope you like the elements that I change!**

**Will update soon-ish! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Definitely the longest chapter I've ever written. Thanks for reading and I'd really love to know what you think! The good and the bad!**

**(Also, spot the not-so-hidden reference if you can be bothered!) ;)**

* * *

><p>Billa could only stare at the dwarves as they struggled to rise from their pile on the floor of her home. She was going to offer her help, but with their size and armour, she knew that she'd just get in the way. She also thought the possibility she could get a little crushed in the process was quite significant.<p>

As the pile of dwarves on the floor continued to pick themselves up, shoving each other often, Billa began to clear her throat to try to get their attention and make the necessary introductions, welcoming them to her home. One or two of the dwarves looked at her but the rest were making too much noise to hear the meek sounds the little hobbit was making.

Gandalf's eyes were crinkled as he smiled brightly at the little one, most pleased to see her seemingly keeping her footing amongst the ruckus, even if she was a bit shy about it.

"Billa Baggins!" He called, causing many of the dwarves to stop and listen to him. "It is not like you to keep friends waiting on the mat, and then open the door like a pop-gun! Let me introduce to you, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Nori, Dori, Oin and Gloin!"

Unfortunately Billa couldn't tell which dwarf was which, as Gandalf hadn't pointed them out with their names. Furthermore they began to mutter amongst themselves again and Billa was finding it difficult to find her voice amongst all these new strangers in her home, even as she began to apoligise for the poor manners she offered as their host, which Gandalf had pointed out. A few dwarves at a time she could cope with, but when they all arrived at once she felt very overwhelmed.

"H-Hello?" Once more, the dwarves at the door didn't bother to pay attention to the small voice as they began to set their belongings down upon the floor where they stood. "Um… excuse me?"

Dwalin and Balin watched the little hobbit struggle from the doorway to the drawing room as their companions ignored their host. She had begun to ring her hands and look anxious and Dwalin knew that the belongings dropped upon her floor, instead of placed in the cupboard, would also be making her restless. He cleared his throat pointedly and grunted, while beside him his sister gave a stern call of 'lads!' to gather their attention.

Any dwarf worth his rocks new not to cross the Fundin-born and they commanded a certain amount of respect from those from Erebor and the Blue Mountains. This made the lads on the doorstep stop what they were doing and look at the pair, the company noting the two young dwarves behind the them watching amusedly at the proceedings. Dwalin raised his head in the direction of Miss Baggins and as one the occupants of the smial turned their full attentions upon the hobbit.

Appearing what she hoped was confident, Billa quickly curtsied and ducked her head to the dwarves as she spoke. "Billana Baggins, at your service."

As one, the company bowed to her. "And we at yours."

"These are my friends, Bell and Hamfast Gamgee." With a quick glance to the pile of bags, tools and cloaks that had accumulated upon the floor, Billa continued. "If you wouldn't mind, gentlemen, please place your belongings in the cupboard to your right and then make yourselves at home. You are more than welcome to any of the snacks left in the drawing room upon your left and dinner will be served in but a moment."

That appeared to be all the dwarves needed as they began to talk and laugh amongst themselves again, excited at the promise of food, seemingly forgetting their hostess once more as they moved to do as she bid.

Meanwhile, Gandalf finally had enough room to be able to duck into the hobbit hole and out of the night air. He smiled at his little friend, knowing she might be a mite bit annoyed with him for springing the company upon her. He chuckled softly to himself, imagining the surprise it must have been.

"Mr. Gandalf, I have a bone to pick with you!" Billa told him while pinning him with one of her sternest looks. He wouldn't tell her, but he found it rather endearing upon her. However his smile faded as her bottom lip quivered and here eyes became shiny, even as her brows furrowed angrily.

"Gandalf, why? Why would you allow all these dwarves to come here without me being prepared? Why would you miss tea and not tell me? Have I done something to anger you? Do wizards do this for fun?"

"I beg your pardon?" Gandalf asked, quite shocked.

"You were good friends with Old Took, surely you must know what this means to a hobbit? You simply _must_!"

"Billa, I assure you, I did not mean to distress you." He tried to placate the girl, placing a hand upon her shoulder as he knelt down to be closer to her height. "That was never my intention, child. For you see, I remember a fauntling who had not reached even the height of my knee yet and already her great grandfather and her mother were telling me stories of her adventures and all the trouble she would get into around the Shire – not to mention the time you accidentally ran away to Bree chasing fairies and looking for elves. Then I come to find this very hobbit only to find she has grown up into quite a… _respectable_ hobbit, who is more content to read about adventure than go much further than Nobottle or Brandy Hall!"

Gandalf sighed, moving his hand from Billa's shoulder to her head, seeing that she was still quite upset. "Billa Baggins, you are a very bright girl who needed a shock to wake up her sense of adventure. The world is not in your books and maps. It's out there."

"Billa." A soft voice called. The pair in the entrance way turned to face Hamfast who had finally had enough of this wizard. "The mince pies are ready and the ham is almost done. These dwarves seem to be moments away from attacking the table so you may want to bring the rest of the food out and have them sitting around the table rather than spreading mess everywhere."

Billa nodded, smiled shakily at Gandalf and left for the kitchen.

The old wizard sighed as he stiffly rose to his feet. His eyes sought out the dwarves to see if he needed to prevent any mischief that was underfoot, only to be distracted, once more, by the hobbit still in the entrance hall.

"Mr. Gandalf?"

"Hamfast Gamgee." Gandalf smiled at the grown hobbit. "It has been a long while since I saw you, buried in dirt and hiding behind the tulips so you wouldn't have to go inside yet."

"Hmm. Yes, well. I understand you had, what you thought, good intentions this evening, however I must… I must speak my mind. Miss Billa is a lovely and kind hobbit. She never says a mean word against anyone who isn't a Sackville-Baggins. She is now the head of the Baggins family and has many responsibilities. You have done her a great disservice tonight by unexpectedly providing her with a great company of guests – dwarves no less!

"Even if news of how Bell and I had to come and help her is not added to the tales, everyone will know of her dinner party that she hadn't bought a great deal of food for, or told anyone else about, indicating she is either being secretive or was unprepared. Both are highly frowned upon and will damage her reputation personally, as head of the Baggins family and as a business partner. It shows she is unreliable and unable to care for and look after others.

"After talking to Ms. Balin, I understand that some races may not understand this, but to hobbits, our reputations as hosts are highly important and not being able to look after your own guests…" Hamfast had to stop himself as he collected his thoughts.

"Well. If nothing else, you have provided the Sackville-Baggins' with more rumours to use against her in their bid to take over as head of the Baggins family – it's business and land, including Bag End, as a part of it.

"I also over heard you talking about adventure to her. I do not know what you and your dwarves planning on doing, but I ask, for the sake of Miss Baggins' home and family, that you please leave her out of it. Even if she turns you down, if the other hobbits hear of her being offered a chance at adventure, other hobbits will begin to question why she would be offered such a thing and judge her and her character for it.

"Miss Baggins is dear to many people and we would hate to see anything happen to her. Please, Mr. Gandalf, reconsider- No! Not there!" Hamfast cried suddenly, hearing the groaning of wood and running to try and rescue Billa's Grandpa Mungo's antique chair as one of the dwarves sat in it.

Gandalf barely paid any mind to the following crash and howls of laughter from the other dwarves as he thought over what Hamfast had told him. What Gandalf knew of hobbits seemed to have been slightly misjudged, but what he did know was that for young master Gamgee to talk to him, a wizard (not that he minded), that way, he must have been very upset with him.

With a sigh, Gandalf moved into another room to find a chair. He would still be offering Miss Baggins a place on this quest, but he had some reconsidering to do.

* * *

><p>Nights in the Shire were always pleasant in the summer time, occasionally a bit crisp as autumn approached, but no less calm and refreshing. One could always find the occasional hobbit walking around as they left someone's smial after supper. Tonight, a pair of hobbits, two Townsend hobbits, in fact, were making their way to Sandyman's Mill when they passed by Bag End. They knew that just a single Miss Baggins lived in Bag End and were surprised to see that the entire smial was lit and could hear a great noise coming through even the closed windows and doors.<p>

It was quite the ruckus, in fact and the laughter incredibly boisterous. Suddenly there was a crash and the commotion only grew louder.

Highly startled, the two hobbits decided that they should check in on Miss Baggins to make sure that nothing untoward was occurring.

As they made their way up the path to the smial, they could see into some of the rooms they passed and saw that Miss Baggins was not just hosting at this late hour, but hosting a pack of dwarves!

Not only that, but a haggard Mr. Gamgee seemed to be running around after the dwarves as they caused all kinds of damage to the rooms. Had these dwarves invaded Miss Baggins' home and forced the hobbits to look after them?

Highly startled, both Townsends resolved to go to see the Thain immediately to ask him what should be done. How could they rescue the hobbits?

They scrambled down to the path, still heading to Sandyman's Mill to recruit their friend's help. They noticed the silence that seemed to descend upon Bag End moments later but refused to turn back to satisfy their curiosity. All hobbits were related in someway and their family was in trouble!

* * *

><p>Inside Bag End, most of the dwarves had been making merry by greeting friends and family they had not seen much of in the past year or so. They greeted each other, comparing their heights and widths to see who had changed the most, appraisingly especially the youngest three and discussing any new or missing braids in each others hair and beards.<p>

Several had decided it would be a marvelous time to play some music and were singing various songs and arguing about lyrics to a new one made uniquely for the company.

A couple of dwarves were more silent as they scavenged the bottoms of the jars for the last of the snacks, or salivated at the sight of the food that was laid out on the table across the hallway and was still being carried out. Dwalin was engaged in an arm wrestle with another dwarf with intricately braided silver hair while several others cheered them on.

One by one, however, silence descended upon the company, encouraging the others to quiet down in order to discover the source of the hush. Slowly, the sound of laughter, music, cheer and talk was replaced by snuffles and sniffs of curious and hungry dwarves.

Mouths began to drip as the smell of a beautifully glazed ham was released from the confines of the oven to circulate the smial. All eyes were transfixed on the large platter Billa Baggins carried down the hall into the dining room.

Billa's cheeks flushed in pride and pleasure at the transfixed looks the company pinned upon the spread of food on the tables.

"Master dwarves, Gandalf," she began, "dinner is served."

The hobbit's eyes widened and she squeaked as she scrabbled to leave the room as the dwarves tumbled to find a seat and tear into the food.

* * *

><p>There are only two things in the world that will fully capture the attention of any dwarf; battle and good food.<p>

When given one of these things, most dwarves become oblivious to much else, except good company.

There were some dwarves, however, who could immerse themselves in these things and still keep their head about them and notice what was happening around them. Balin was one such dwarf; the dwarrowdam fiercely conquered the food from the table and was enjoying herself immensely, but still watched and analysed each member of the company in turn. Dwalin was another; his skill on a battlefield or in a skirmish was legendary and partly that was because of his ability to analyse every situation and see the bigger picture, not just where the next opponent was coming from, but the one after that and the one after that. As he guarded his plate of food and joked and drank heartily with everyone else, he kept a subconscious eye on everyone's movements as well as the door, to watch any movement, always ready for a surprise. Nori, was another.

Not many would pick Nori for the observant type, initially. However not many would picture him to be a thief, either. He was impeccably groomed and well presented, his brother had always made sure to instill a sense of style and pride in how he presented himself and with his unique three-pointed hairstyle and braided brows, most would assume his looks were too unique to be able to effectively blend into the background and sneak from place to place. However that was half of his advantage; hiding in plain sight. Long ago, he'd learnt that there was nothing more elusive than an obvious fact – and he made himself that obvious fact.

He had his reasons for his line of profession, reasons that folk don't care to consider on the rare occasion he was caught, however he almost never regretted his lifestyle and he didn't consider himself a bad person. Over the years of honing his skills and abilities, he'd also learnt how to immerse himself in the pleasures life had to offer him and still be able to fully read the situation around him, ready for just about anything.

As he cheered with everyone as Bombur managed to capture a flying roll in his mouth, then dodged the ale that Oin blew out his horn when Dwalin poured it in with a laugh, he watched the little hobbit lass stand timidly in the doorway clutching her own plate, trying to get around the flying food and dwarven limbs in order to get something to eat for herself.

She was a dainty thing and he took special notice of her quick hands as she grabbed a roll and one of the mince pies. She spun out of reach quickly and dodged Dwalin's flailing arm and stood back. She moved around to try from another angle, only to have to dodge Bofur's arms and hat as she tried for some vegetables.

"Oh! Lass!" Bofur called, noticing the dainty little hobbit. "Would you like me to get you something?"

"Ah, yes please, master dwarf." She ventured with a smile.

Bofur laughed enthusiastically and Nori saw the well-hidden disgust in the crinkling of the hobbit's nose as she saw the mash of food displayed in his open mouth.

"Just Bofur, lass. Hey! Kili! Pass us some of that ham!" Said dwarf, face stuffed with chicken, picked a few pieces of the ham that Bombur had expertly carved up and tossed them to Bofur, who placed it on the lass's plate. With a grunt, Dwalin tossed a handful of the hobbit's 'chips' (delightful food hobbits had – Ori especially was a fan of the fried potato slices at her and the dwarves cheered as all but one successfully landed on the plate.

Throughout the exchange, the hobbit seemed to grow strangely increasingly upset, in the end deciding to retreat into the kitchen with her plate. The other two hobbits were behind her in the hallway and also looked upset, the lady, Bell, he recalled, looked ready to burst into tears.

Quickly and not afraid to bat away the hands and flying food around him, Nori tipped the remainder of the potatoes onto the table and used the plate to gather some other foods the hobbit hadn't been able to reach – like the stuffed mushrooms she'd been eyeballing – and arrange it in some form of order before handing the plate to Ori, sitting by the door next to Bofur, to take to hobbit in the kitchen.

Ori looked and Nori a little queerly but nodded and went to do what his brother had told him.

Ori was definitely the quietest, politest and probably had the most in common with the hobbit out of all of them. Nori had noticed stacks of books in a multitude of places around the home as well as having glimpsed at the bookshelves in the study as he walked past in on his way to the loo. He knew already that some members of the company were having doubts about the hobbit and could tell that especially Gandalf and Balin were considering how difficult it could possibly be to convince the lass to accompany them on this journey. Nori hoped that by pushing Ori as a friendly figure towards Miss Baggins, that his brother could help convince the lass to be their company's burglar.

Nori was distracted by his musings as he got a face full of what appeared to be buttered and mashed potatoes and looked up to the smirking face of Dwalin across from him. Dwalin had a knowing glint in his eyes and Nori rolled his eyes, knowing his friend knew what he had done for the hobbit. Instead he grinned, wiped the food off of his face reached over the table suddenly, quickly grabbing the leather straps of Dwalin's fur shoulder coverings in order to pull him and force his face into the remaining mince pie. Sitting back Nori and the rest of the table, especially Balin, roared with laughter.

* * *

><p>Ori was quite shocked as he was ejected from the kitchen, stumbling slightly as the male hobbit all but pushed him out, then following Ori into the hallway.<p>

"Sorry about that, Master Ori, but I think that the ladies have had just about as many surprises for the night as they can handle." The hobbit said, chuckling uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry for what I said in there. I never meant any offense." Ori felt very bad for the look of hurt Billa shot him inside the kitchen. Once again, the male hobbit – Hamfast was his name! That's right – chuckled a little uncomfortably.

"I feel I have gained a large education tonight. I have learnt that amongst dwarvish culture, for one thing, that it is considered rude not to offer your assistance to the host. This was very surprising for in hobbit culture, it is considered one of the highest insults you could offer."

Ori blinked owlishly at Hamfast for a moment. "I never read anything about that." Hobbits were strange, Ori decided, thinking back to what had happened moments ago.

_Ori was confused when Nori handed him a full plate of food and discreetly signed in __iglishmêk to take it to the hobbit in the kitchen, but he did so anyways. His brother had never led him astray before and he always had his reasons for doing things._

_In the kitchen he saw Miss Baggins picking at her food, the mince pie and bread roll already gone but she seemed reluctant to touch the ham or potatoes. She was looking quite downcast, actually and it didn't suit her one bit._

_Ori thought she had a face that was made to be smiling constantly and to see her looking worried and upset made something in him twist uncomfortably. Was it the company's fault? Or was Miss Baggins a naturally melancholy person?_

"_Miss Baggins?"_

_Her head snapped up and she did her best to hide her discomfort and upset behind a polite mask and small smile. Unfortunately for her, having a brother that made his living (and Ori and Dori's) by being a thief, Ori had learnt how to read people rather well and could see the surprise and weariness she had at her situation and at seeing him. He presented the plate of food he was carrying to her._

"_This was made for you. I'm assuming that this is your dinner too, we wouldn't want for you to go hungry, now." He told her, offering a kind smile. The satisfaction he felt when he saw the weariness seep out of her and some delight light up her features, made him grin._

_As she took the plate from him, looking far happier as she used a knife and fork to eat, he thanked Nori in his head. Then he stopped and began to sniff around him._

"_By Mahal, what is that_ smell_?" He groaned. As he turned to look around, he heard Billa giggle behind him._

"_That, master dwarf, is dessert."_

_The other female hobbit, Bell, he was pretty sure her name was, laughed softly as well as she stirred a pot on the stove and checked on whatever was cooking in the oven._

_They were cooking _more_ food? Ori thought delightedly. All dwarves of the Lonely and Blue mountains had become accustomed to eating bland and sometimes vile foods in order to survive, so good food was a scarce rarity and treasured like gold._

_Ori and his family had often struggled to scrape enough money together to survive the harsh winters and had learnt not to be picky. However here, in this hobbit's home, he had tasted things he could never have ever imagined. He never knew there were so many ways one could eat just potatoes! Not only were they boiled, but they were turned into a delicious soup, mashed and mixed with butter and the chips! Oh the chips! He had never tasted anything so wonderful! Then there were even several kinds of chips! Ones with butter, ones with salt, one with mouth watering spices and, oh, Ori was in heaven!_

_He was also a fan of the chicken that had spices and flavours infused throughout the meat and not just on the skin._

_Ori was in danger of drooling right there as he continued to eye whatever was cooking on the stove and wafting around the room._

"_Are you alright, master dwarf?"_

_Ori shook himself slightly and turned back to face their host. "I think I've died and gone to Mahal's great halls. I have never, in all my life, had food this good."_

_Now Billa truly did light up, cheeks flushing and eyes practically sparkling from the praise. Ori saw the other two hobbits grinning just as widely as Miss Baggins._

"_Thank you, master dwarf!" She beamed. "Is there enough food for you all, or could I get you something more?"_

"_Oh, no! Not at all, there is definitely more than enough food. We shall all sleep very well tonight. Also, please call me Ori."_

"_Just as well," Billa laughed, "if there were anymore of you I'd struggle to find something to scrape together now." She then looked at him peculiarly. "There _are_ no more dwarves coming tonight, master dwarf, are there?"_

_Ori laughed, enjoying the light atmosphere. "No. No more troops of dwarves. Only our leader has yet to arrive, but he'll be here at some time tonight."_

_Billa paled and the other hobbits stopped what they were doing as well to look at Ori. "What?"_

_Ori shifted a little from foot to foot. "Um… our leader, Thorin Oakenshield, or… rather, King Thorin Oakenshield has yet to arrive. He was running late you see, he went to a meeting with the other dwarf lords last week in order to see if he could gain any allies for our quest…" Ori knew he was rambling, he did that when nervous, but was abruptly cut off as Billa dashed past him._

_Quickly Bell and Billa talked, Ori only managing to hear and keep up with snippets of their conversation as they babbled quickly around him._

"_Nothing in the pantry –" Bell began._

"_There's nothing left!"_

"_What about the cold storage? Anything there? Any milk or cheese?"_

_"I think there is some stew left."_

"_Quickly, grab some more ham and bread if you can."_

"_What about your kitchen garden?"_

"_I have some herbs and tomatoes. Maybe a spring onion and carrot or two left."_

"_That's enough to try-"_

"_But how about-"_

"_- not enough, you'd-"_

_Ori stood to the side of the kitchen as the two lasses dashed about, deserting the dessert (after turning down the heat, of course). Beside him, the male hobbit – what was his name? – similarly watched in an equally useless state._

_After a minute or two, the two women were busy chopping and dicing and stirring as they tried to pull together something extra for the last guest – a_ King_ no less!._

_Ori considered what Balin had told him and a few others before dinner, about Gandalf tricking the hobbit and not telling her about the company's arrival, leaving her to host them in a flurry of nerves and last minute preparation._

"_I'm so sorry we intruded upon you like this, Miss Baggins. It was never our intention to put you so out of your way." He apologised on behalf of the company. "We were under the impression that you had been properly warned and prepared for our arrival."_

"_Oh, it's no worry. Truly. Mr. Gandalf just had a bit of a silly moment, is all. It's none of your faults." Billa assured him, though she did seem to become a little uncomfortable, while she handled the vegetables she had managed to find. Ori could only imagine what it must be like to have to accommodate thirteen dwarves when you are but a single hobbit lass living on your own, despite the help of friends._

"_Is there any way that I, or the others, could help?" Ori knew he had said the wrong thing when all movement stopped and Billa looked at him with a look of such hurt that Ori wanted to bury himself in her back garden._

"_Uh, no, master Ori…" The male hobbit told him, reaching up to place a hand on his shoulder and steer him out of the kitchen. "But thank you. We should probably get out of the ladies way."_

Now Ori retreated back into the dining room and sat down, purposefully ignoring the looks his brothers were shooting him with as he thought about all that had happened and what he had learnt. However, he couldn't help but smile as Dori piled a stash of the potato chips he'd hoarded upon Ori's plate as almost all the rest of the food on the table was gone.

* * *

><p>After dinner was finished, the dwarves began to disband around the house, more than a few of them happy to sit down in the drawing room for a place to rest as they happily surrendered to lethargy due to the amount of food they ate.<p>

Dwalin, Oin and Bofur retreated to the wine storage behind the pantry to continue helping themselves to the ale and mead there. Nori followed them in with Hamfast trailing behind, trying to rescue the doilies that Grandma Baggins had made sixty years ago!

Kili and Fili were ducking in and out of rooms, exploring the house. They came upon Ori, Gloin and Balin in what appeared to be Billa's study, but didn't want to be pulled into a possible lesson or discussion about finances or business so they quickly retreated. They opened cupboards and flipped through books before carelessly dropping them. The pair then explored the guest rooms downstairs that they had seen earlier. They found Hamfast bringing in several wooden tubs to each of the rooms and setting up a fire where he began to boil water in the living room, located in the centre of the downstairs area and linking the rest of the rooms together.

Meanwhile Billa and Bella were fussing in the kitchen as they were in the last stages of making the desserts.

Seeing that their host was busy, the brothers quickly dashed down the hall, barely trying to keep up the pretense of being sneaky and slipped into Miss Baggins' room. They poked their head in and out of cupboards, discovering Billa's secret stash of sugar cookies, before Fili opened the chest of draws and discovered certain articles of clothing he shouldn't have been seeing. He drew the attention of Kili but both were quickly interrupted and had to dash out of the room, wicked grins stretched upon their faces, as Bofur yelled at them and hounded them in Khuzdul to leave Miss Billa's private things alone. Then, blushing like a maiden, he turned, muttering darkly about foolish boys, as he righted the hobbit's draws and retreated out of the room himself.

Finally though, Bell and Billa finished creating dessert.

Billa had to go hunting for all the wayward dwarves, stumbling around the messes and destruction they wrought upon her home. She even considered boarding up the loo and the bathroom and creating an outhouse instead. Maybe she should convert the backroom into a bathroom… with the smell from the two rooms, she didn't think she wanted to ever step foot into them again.

Nori was standing at the door of Billa's study, watching and observing as Ori looked through Billa's book collection, as well as looking at the maps she had displayed on the walls and tucked away in baskets and amongst the shelves.

On the other hand, Balin and Gloin were looking at the documents and records Billa had on her desk. Gloin was looking through her work, pointing the occasional detail and item out to Balin, who would then agree with whatever Gloin had said, studying her ability to work numbers and take care of her family's established business ties and properties as well as how she made new ones.

Nori stood back and watched it all but noticed when Billa began to call for dessert and watched as she rounded up the rest of the company before making her way to Nori and the study,

In all honesty, she wouldn't have thought anyone would have entered her study and wouldn't have thought to look there, if not for the dwarf with the three hair peaks standing at the door with his arms folded.

He watched her face as she saw that not only were they in her study, but they were going through her business books!

"Alright lads, time to go." Nori called, noticing Billa's distress. Gloin and Ori looked sheepish at having being caught going through such private documents while Balin smiled kindly at the hobbit on her way out. Gloin knew that if he had found anyone but his family going through his own books and files, his reaction would have been explosive. Guests or no, he was surprised when the hobbit didn't tell them off or demand an answer from them and instead just closed the door behind them.

She may have been a clever lass, but he seriously wondered if she had the gumption and the nerve for this quest…

"Oh, lass!" Bofur called as he sat down in the dining room, clutching his heart dramatically. "What are you doing to me? You've spoilt us rotten now and I don't think I ever want to leave! Not with this cooking!"

Bombur nodded enthusiastically, being a chef, he could truly appreciate good food and he admired the skill of the hobbits being able to throw together something so magical together with no notice prior at all! If he wasn't so entranced by her food, Bombur would have been extremely envious of their skill.

Billa flushed and chuckled lightly before facing the rest of the room.

"For dessert, we have apple cake with a caramel glaze and caramelized bananas, fruit salad with mango cream, caramel sweet scones with honey cream and a cherry pie served with plain cream."

Collective groans and moans were flittered around the room and Billa blushed to the roots of her hair, while her hobbit friends and Gandalf beamed proudly at her.

Before they could dig in and decimate the dessert, Billa rescued a portion from each dessert, as well as taking some for herself, in order to save it for her last guest.

Unlike with dinner, the dwarves seemed to handle the food served to them with reverence, not risking even a crumb as their taste buds were so pleasantly assaulted that they had to agree with Bofur and question whether or not they could bring themselves to ever leave.

Dori was curious as he watched the hobbits once more leave the dining room instead of joining them to eat. In all honesty, he could understand them not wanting to join them for dinner as dwarves were notorious for being quite boisterous in gatherings. However now they were quite settled and hardly made a mess at all!

He watched as the hobbit, Mr. Gamgee, followed Billa downstairs. According to Balin and Dwalin, that was where most of the guest rooms were, so he assumed they were preparing them. On the other hand, Mrs. Gamgee had retreated to the drawing room with a pot of tea and appeared to be resting.

After making sure his younger brothers were both content, seeing they were really engaging with the rest of the company and also moaning around their forks, Dori cut two slices of the apple cake and took over two plates and two forks to sit with Mrs. Gamgee.

Now that she was sitting down and her dress was settled, he could see the very definite baby bump protruding outwards where she stroked it absent mindedly.

"Mrs. Gamgee?" Dori called gently, not wanting to startle young lady – doubly so since she was pregnant.

"Good evening, master dwarf." She greeted.

"Yes, very much so! The company is wonderful, the home is lovely and the food divine." He responded. She appeared momentarily confused before she smiled.

"Billa would love to hear you say that and it's just Bell, thank you sir."

"Dori, at your service." He held up one of the plates with cake on it and held it out towards her. "Would you like some cake? I'm sure you know, but it is exquisite."

"Hmm, well I can never say no to one of Billa's caramel desserts. Besides, as you can see, it has been a rather active evening so something to eat would be quite beneficial."

"I can see that! How far along are you, if you don't mind me asking, Mrs. Bell?"

She laughed softly and smiled brightly at him. "Just Bell, Dori, please. I am around three months along now, only seven more to go."

"So soon?" Dori asked, surprised. "Usually a dwarrowdam's pregnancy lasts for around 20 months."

Bell looked shocked herself, now, not to mention slightly aghast. "20 months! Nearly 2 years! Goodness, I love my children and I love feeling them grown, but I'm glad that hobbit pregnancies usually only last for 10 months! Although I hear that Women only have to carry to for nine months. Do you know how long elvish pregnancies last?"

"I'm afraid I'm not certain, but I believe their births last for a similar amount of time as those of hobbits and Men. Dwarves have the longest birthing period, I believe."

"I do no know much about dwarves, but perhaps hobbits carry for longer because we have very dense bones compared to other races."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, it is why no hobbit will willingly go near water unless on a sturdy boat or raft. We simply cannot swim; we sink right down to the bottom."

"My brother, Ori, would love to hear about this. He's so interested in learning all that he can and he genuinely enjoys it." Dori grinned. "Some days it is near impossible to get his head out of his books and Mahal help me if traders or a caravan comes through, I can never wrestle him away from them with all his questions."

"Sounds like a good lad." Bell said grinning.

"Yes, he is."

The pair's conversation dissolved into discussions about their families and raising young ones, as well as comparing tips about tea and the different brews they knew.

They hardly noticed as the time passed until they heard Billa call, for the first time that evening, loudly, "Please don't do that! You'll blunt the knives!"

"Oh, do you hear that, lads?" Bofur called out after, seemingly ignoring Billa's request. "She says we'll blunt the knives!"

Kili grinned and began to sing, slowly joined by the other dwarves.

"Blunt the knives and bend the forks!

Smash the bottles and burn the corks!

Chip the glasses and crack the plates!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

Dori laughed as he watched the lads begin to clear up by tossing the empty plates between them to be sent to the kitchen. Bofur brought out his pipe and Oin even made an impromptu instrument out of a tea pot, while Kili took out his fiddle from his pack.

Dori was so engrossed in the song, grinning and whistling along, even tossing Bell's and his empty plates and forks over to join in the fray, that he didn't notice Billa becoming more and more distressed, making Bell more and more upset.

However Dori did notice it when Bell began to cry, soft sobs mostly overwhelmed by the music and song, but loud enough to catch his attention.

"There, there, Bell. It's all right. The lads know what they're doing; they're just helping out Miss Baggins. No need to be upset." Dori tried to comfort her, taking her hand as she tried to cover her face and wipe her tears with the other.

Dori was surprised to see Bombur come over to the pair from the dining room and squat next to Bell's chair.

"What's wrong, Mrs. Gamgee? A lovely hobbit like yourself shouldn't be so upset on such a happy evening." He tried to comfort her. Bombur had his own wife and family at home and was one of the few in the company best equipped to deal with a crying hobbit lass. Most of the others in the company didn't notice what was happening and those who did believed that crowding the distressed woman would not be best at the moment.

Hamfast had been comforting Bella, rubbing her shoulders, as she watched her family's china and porcelain be tossed around like common trash. Her hands were on either side of her face, while her eyes darted around like dragon flies, trying to see everything at once, trying to anticipate where the fall would happen so that she could try and dive in and save whatever was the victim of the fall.

She flinched when she saw the carving fork, that had been stacked at the end of the table with the other plates and platters, be thrown directly at the back of the head of the dwarf with the axe in his head. He only turned around at the last second and caught it a few inches from his eyes, looking completely unbothered by the fact he had nearly been impaled.

She turned away, only to notice Hamfast walking away from her and saw him heading towards Bell who was crying in the drawing room with two of the dwarves comforting her. Walking over, she watched as Hamfast took the largest dwarf's place next to his wife and took her hands in one of his and wiped her cheeks with his other hand.

"What's wrong, Bells?"

She looked at him and hiccupped. "H-how can people be so disrespectful to someone in their own home?" She asked him. Billa and Hamfast instantly felt very awkward and embarrassed as the dwarves looked confused, trying to work out what exactly she was talking about. Had they done something wrong? Had they offended the hobbits somehow? Was it the lads, perhaps?

"Come on, Bell. Let's go." Hamfast called, coaxing his wife up. He turned to Billa. "I'm sorry, Billa, but I think we should take our leave for the night."

Billa nodded, stomach plummeting as her friends decided and began to prepare to leave.

"My apologies, gentlemen, but please excuse us. Our children are probably missing us as well." Hamfast offered the dwarves, their eyebrows being raised at being called gentlemen. "I'm sorry, Billa. I'll come by in the morning though with some food for breakfast."

"Thank you, Hamfast, I'll pay you back, I promise." She said as she led them to the door. "And Hamfast, Bell? Thank you both so, so much. I really couldn't have done this without you."

"Nonsense, Billa. What are friends for?" Bell asked her, giving her a very tight hug before whispering in her ear, "If you need anything or don't feel safe staying here tonight, just come over to our place. We'll leave the light on and the couch made."

The dwarves were laughing in the kitchen now, Gandalf's deep rumble rolling through the smial, as Billa stood with her two friends at the doorway. Bombur and Dori, though, were watching from a couple of paces from behind them, watching Bell worriedly.

Billa was giving Hamfast a hug next when they jumped apart at the sounds of loud, heavy knocks at the front door.

There was dead silence in the smial before Gandalf moved into the entrance hall.

"You should open the door, Miss Baggins. The last member of our company is here."

* * *

><p><strong>Well… ta da! There we have it.<strong>

**This is a fairly long chapter but I'd be interested to hear what anyone thought of the size… I'd also love some feedback on my writing, there are parts of this that I was not content with, but to be honest, I wanted to get this chapter out and I now have four major assignments to get on with so I didn't end up spending as much time on this chapter as I would have liked.**

**This chapter, you won't really notice the changes in the dwarves that I have, because I haven't really changed them so much from book/movie cannon. In the future chapters, you'll see some more changes happening though, so keep an eye peeled for those. I'll enjoy hearing about what people think!**

**Thanks so much for the reviews, follows and favourites! It brightens my day just that little bit more every time I get an email!**

**Thanks to:  
><strong>- **A completely massive thanks to **Borys68 **who is completely wonderful and hilarious****  
><strong>- Kelwtim2spar (thank you so much for your review!)  
>- lassenri (thank you for your review as well! It made me smile)<br>- XXRawwrXX  
>- Quippery<br>- Wraven  
>- maximum ride fang1995<br>- the lost mutant  
>- Lennie9890<br>- yuki kagoshima  
>- I Just Won A Free Toaster Oven (Brilliant name, by the way)<br>- Vangran  
>- LoverShadowGirl<br>- Clarindas  
>- hiddenshade knownwitch<br>- Liaskane

**If anyone is wondering as to why I took the path I did by bringing in the Gamgees, essentially I thought that if anyone I knew had a massive pile of people dumped on them as a surprise one night, they'd call on their friends. Billa is a sensible young hobbit and recognises realities.**

**I would really love to know what people think! Constructive criticism welcome!**

**Thank you!**


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